Back when I was unsure about nearly everything about Dash, one of my few certainties was that it was not only okay, but good for him to get dirty and wet and just plain disgusting (if he so chose) when he played. I may have felt bad about not childproofing or uncertain that allowing him to use our electric toothbrush (without the brush part) to "drill" his toy box was an “age-appropriate” activity, but my faith was strong and my identity was stronger—I’m a mom who lets her kid play in the sandbox, who delights in puddle-jumping, and will join him in wallowing in the mud. I’m that cool.

Like anyone cared... Who were the disapproving tsk-tskers?  The parents who didn’t want to hose their kids down as soon as they stepped in the door, or have an apartment floor reminiscent of summer days at the beach?  Way to buck the system, Jenny!

The same held true for not pushing toilet training, or letting him stay in his crib until he started resembling Alice (of Wonderland fame), her long neck protruding from the chimney after sampling the “Eat me” cake.  Anyone who had strong opinions about these choices were clearly not “my people.”

Discussions with parent friends may have gotten more complex when it was time to choose elementary school, but conversations were devoid of judgment. Parents seemed to only show concern for their own child’s education,though the occasional eye-roll was inevitable when I went on my progressive school spiel.

But as Dash’s mind develops and he becomes more aware and concerned with the complexities of the world, Dennis and I are forced to explain both the inexplicable and revisit questions that can no longer be answered in the former simple ways.

The old answers: “Not for a long time”; “He doesn’t have anywhere to live”; “They were mean because she looks different” no longer satisfy him. The list of topics reads like an outline for de Blasio’s campaign speech: homelessness, poverty, race, sex, money.

And let’s not forget death. I add it last because this one started a while back for us when my stepfather died. What a long deep silence it was when dash asked me if when Grandpa died it was forever.

So I suggested a discussion group for the parents in Dash’s k/1 class to talk about issues that kids are asking about. Many are interested, and a less naïve person than I would not have been as surprised at how quickly politics (Webster’s fifth definition: the total complex of relations between people living in society) intercede.

I’m curious to hear what others say, but also hesitant to peel away another layer, to expose my feelings on far more intricate subjects than how I feel about skipping training wheels.

Stay tuned…